I am an
aspiring bachelorette. This doesn’t mean that I want to get rid of my boyfriend
as soon as possible, but rather that I really want a piece of paper that will prove
to everyone that I didn’t just spend my student years picking my nose and getting
drunk. I want a degree so someday in the remote future a so far unknown
employer will consider me employment material.
Fair enough, Jule wants a degree, who doesn’t. I know my roommate does
because she slaved away on her laptop and before you could say Jack Robinson,
she had produced 15 pages of “American Gothic” analysis (seemingly out of thin
air) before she had even signed up for the final exam. Me, I’m more a last-minute
person. Not that I actually like getting completely stressed out toward the end
but I just can’t seem to help it. So I was basically late with everything, right from the
start of signing up to today where I haven’t written a single page but played
around with reading material like a retarded sloth. My environment somehow
prevents me from starting the essential work: writing. It’s not writer’s block,
because I haven’t even tried typing a single word. It’s more like the universe
has an evil plan to stop me from getting my highly anticipated bachelorette
status. When I sit on my bed trying to read, I fall asleep. I took up running
again, even though I detest it and started knitting out of season. I am quite
frankly the queen of procrastination and maybe I should just give in and accept
that title instead of a bachelor’s degree. Unfortunately, my family would
probably disown me and send me off to live under some bridge (aka. The Majestic
Kingdom of Procastination), so that is out of the question.
Taking all these
problems into account, how does the queen of procrastination motivate herself
and trick her lazy ass into thinking that taking on this humongous heap of a
thesis is her dream come true? I have discovered that in order to work
effectively, I have to avoid all sorts of distraction or temptation to do
anything else (i.e. sleeping, knitting, watching Game of Thrones). To make
matters worse, I can only work effectively from around 10 am to 2 pm but HATE
(loathe, despise, feel contempt for) getting up early. The trick that I use to
overcome my hatred of early morning work seems almost worse than just sitting
at your desk at 7 am. I go for a run. I probably hate running even more than
getting up, but it works as an amazing bottom-up kick. I run for around half an
hour, shower and have breakfast and then flop onto a lawn chair on my balcony
to start working. I you feel the same aversion to working early in the morning
and can’t seem to shake your sluggishness, go for a run. Do it early, too. It
is amazing what you can actually accomplish before noon, if you drag yourself
out of bed at 8 am. You can stop working at 2 pm and be proud of yourself and
still have the entire day left to do stuff you actually enjoy. PLUS the workout
will compensate for the crap stressed out students with a deadline tend to
gorge. If you don’t want to miss out on the sunshine, then don’t! Take your
work outside, meet up with similarly afflicted friends in someone’s garden, on
a balcony, in a café or the park. Maybe meet up for pre-thesis runs in the
morning. I know it sounds crazy, but the energy from your morning exercise
lasts throughout the day and will definitely boost your spirits. That’s enough
positive thinking for today. I am now going to get sunburnt and drunk (it’s the
weekend after all) as is my duty as her majesty of procrastination.
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